Patient: Why is your arm bruised?
Me: I fell down the stairs.
Patient:…did your “roommate” hit you?
Me: No she didn’t hit me. I actually fell down the stairs.
Patient: Oh my God she better never hit you.
Me: I. Fell. Down. The. Stairs.
Patient: When are you going to get a husband?
Me:…I’ll take my chances with the stairs.